Just Blah

June 1st weigh in: 285.2 Gain: 0.8 Pounds
Lewis had a small gain as well.
No winner for the week.

Had an amazing weekend away with my bestie, baby Brayden, and my momma. Did not want to end. Ate ok for being away from home, but have not got any exercise in for the last 3 days. The last 2 days i have been anchored to my couch snoozing. I had no energy or will to get up and do anything. All i wanted to do was sleep, drink apple juice, eat cereal, and repeat. I just wanted to stay like that forever. After a great weekend i do not know why my mood went south so fast. This mood is not helping get that gain back down...that's for sure. The Little Cesar's we had last night is not helping either. :Sigh: I've been craving Dr.Pepper as well, but proud to say i have kept to juice and water. The last 4 nights have not been good either. Sleep will just not come to me! I toss and turn, i feel like I'm burning up, and I'm dreaming like crazy! I'm also getting very dry at night in my mouth and nose. It's just uck! I know the lack of sleep is defiantly a part of where this mood is coming from.

I have decided today to come off my happy pills. Lewis says he can see a difference and is not to thrilled with my decision. Coming off can bring crazy moods...i was one crazy lady coming off Celexa. I have enough this time around to come off Viibryd with no crazy side effects...i hope. I have not been able to loose weight since being on some kind of pill. That just hit me today. I have been in constant yo-yo with my weight and my moods. I'm ready to stop and just move forward. It may have nothing to do with the pills, but i won't 100% know until i come off. Crossing fingers i can control my moods by myself along with getting control of my weight again. Honestly...I'm really nervous. My weight has alot to do with my mood and no happy pill is going to fix that. I'm just scared i can't live without a pill. That my life will constantly have to be leveled and stablizied by something i have to take every morning. That itself is depressing. IDK...maybe i should just call my doctor and see what she advises. Everyone keeps telling me to try Welburtin which can really help you loose weight, but im scared to try something else. I'm scared to go off, scared to try something else, and scared to use anything at all. Yay!

For now i'm just going off Viibryd. If it doesn't bring the results i hope...i guess i will make another appointment with the dr and go from there. I just hate this feeling of not knowing what to do with my own body and mind, having to rely on a dr and a pill. It's just blah on this blah of a day!