Deja Vu

Weigh In: 273.4 Gain: 2.8 Pounds BMI: 41.6

So, ended the month of January with a 7 pound weight loss. The plan was 15 pounds, but i would have been happy with 10 pounds. :Sigh: I could have made it to either one if i had stayed focus and not let the numbers and old habits effect me so much. I love the money that comes with all the hours i work, but it really took a tole on me this month. Little sleep, to much sleep, weird hours, night shift, and missing happy pills or taking it at different times lead to a crazy emotional, zombie existence the last 2 weeks. I didn't plan meals, skipped some exercises, and totally let the  munchies win. I had one binge last month which I'm pretty proud of. For my first month really back in the game i think all and all i did really well for what i had to work with. Did not want any gains, but least i came out with a loss for the month.

February has not started out so great. I am so not excited to weigh in tomorrow. Food this week has not been planned, not portioned, not healthy, and i have only exercised 2 of the 6 days. And water...sucked! Only 2 of the 6 days have i had 8 cups or more. Most days i got in 2-6 cups. :Sigh: I will not skip the weigh in though. I have to remain accountable to myself and face those numbers, whatever they may be.

This year is starting out like last year and i can't continue to let that happen!

37 days till we are FL bound and headed to our 1st cruise. I am not excited to be this heavy for my first cruise. I'm going to fight until then though and get has many pounds off as i can. I am also going shopping next week for clothes. Nothing in my closet fits right, right now and I'm excited to get some that will flatter the shape and size i am right now. I do not want to dwell on my weight and how i look right now on vacation. I want to enjoy myself and feel beautiful. I'm hoping to find some amazing dresses, tops, shorts, and a stunning bathing suit that assist and flatters the curves. :D

Here's to facing tomorrow head on and getting back in the game. If i can't get something set and stick to it i will always be fighting this battle. I'm tired of the battle! I want to win and maintain!