Blah

Weigh In; 270.6 Gain: 0.2 Pounds BMI: 41.1

Mixed feelings. I stayed away from the carrot cake and the box of chocolates my father-n-law brought from Lewis' side of the family for Christmas and his birthday. I had my one free day and the rest of the week was my planned 5 mini meals a day. Exercise days were switched a little, but i still got it done and all stickers up on the calendar. :Sigh: The main issue i can kinda put down for why this weigh in was not as i had predicted is my swelling issues. For some reason i swelled sooo bad at CCOM when i work nights. From my knees down my legs tingle and feel like water balloons. The swelling can be seen mainly around my ankle bones. Uck! I tried walking Friday night to stay active for my breaks. I did 3 20 minute breaks of walking totaling an hour. Clearly...that did not help.

What's the deal man?! Well, i wanted to find out and did some research last night at work. What i found could possibly be my issue. It's called heat edema. It's when you work or are active in a hot area for long periods of time. It just all clicked. CCOM has been having issues with the humidy and heat in our dispatch room. It feels like a rain forest most nights. So, sitting there for 12 hours is causing my legs and sometimes my fingers to swell. I feel better knowing there may actually be a legit reason i swell now, but it still sucks. Also, finding out that all that walking probablly caused more swelling then preventing it for weigh in...double sucked. :Sigh: Ah well, i know now and will be trying to keep my legs elvated, moving alittle, and may go outside a few times during night shift to keep the body cool and normal size. I hate this, but i guess it's what i get for blowing up like a balloon...now getting to feel like one.

This weekend has been crazy. Defiantly not the days i needed after a blah weigh in. I decided to be nice and help Lewis with is EMT practice practical test site at Blairs after night shift yesterday. I got to sleep 3 hours before having to get up, weigh, bike, and be there on time. Well, i was hoping it wouldn't run that long and i could get back home for another nap. Didn't quite work out that way. Was up all day and had to work another night shift. It was brutal! In the end i was up 41 hours with only that 3 hour nap to push me through. I also had doughnuts, pizza, cookies, and a little bit of soda for an extra push. When i finally got home i was out...i thought. I kept dreaming and would wake up every 5-20 minutes. The dreams were so vivid and real that it didnt even feel like i was getting any sleep. The last dream i woke up crying. I was at this party with Lewis, some friends from high school, and a few from Regional One. Lewis was totally drunk and would have nothing to do with me. He kept calling me names and making fun of me for being the drunk one and embarrassing him when i actually was sober in the dream. We were at this party having a girl vs boy competition to see who could get more kisses. The girls didnt want real kisses so we had white shirts on and had color markers and would see how many people we could get to draw kiss marks on our shirts. Well, I went to get Kyle Carter from Regional One to draw one and he laughed and drew all over my face. I ran over to Lewis crying and he would have nothing to do with it, making fun of me, and i deserved it. I just started crying and woke up really crying. I knew it was a dream, but i just could not stop crying. I was sad about the dream, Lewis wasn't there, i was alone, i was cold, i had a headache, i couldn't sleep, and i couldnt get a kitty. In this state i called Lewis. Poor hubby! I wanted sleeping pills!!! Sadly, he could not help so that conversation was short. I just felt drunk...like i had spent the night really drinking instead of working. This world was not moving normal, i had that darn headache, my speech was slurred, and i felt like i was floating. Then it hit me! I had not taken my happy pills! I missed it saturday morning and this morning i just went straight to sleep and missed a 2nd one. I went straight to the kitchen took my happiness, 3 pain pills, and 2 of my sleeping aid vitamins. Sweet relief! I passed out and didnt get up till right at 6. Just enough time to get up, showered, and dressed for work. I still did not feel myself, was defiantly in zombie mode, but the headache was gone and i could walk and talk straight again. Sadly, the zombie was hungry and went straight the carrot cake, one chocolate chip cookie, and a slice of pizza. :Sigh: Thankfully i was able to pull through the fog some and refuse to bring the box of chocolates with me to work. Did not need it!

It has been a blah weekend and i am sooo glad it is almost over. It's back to me and my control. I am not letting this bad weekend roll into my week or my month. Tomorrow it's back to my healthy changes. 5 mini meals a day, water, and exercise. Those smiley faces deserve to have their place on my calendar. :D